Everybody can be a human, but trying and being an appropriately good human is difficult. It takes paramount understanding. All one can do to understand the other human and his or her situation is to just assume being their parent and ponder on how you would have reacted if you were a kid in the same shoes. Humans are complicated, tender, sweet, and seldom unfathomable. All the bad that we do has a reason so dire that it may take many lifetimes to resolve that. We have our mind, our thoughts, our emotions, yet we are unable to keep a track of them. The more I try to understand, the more grey it all becomes. I see very few people in this grey zone with me. Few people think or act for humans other than for themselves. 

However, being in a bubble has made me someone else. I am different within and without. And I don’t know which one is softer! I hardly understand the girth of what lies in my area, what to keep and what to let go, how to make a life out of this confusion. I have made these broad spectrum of life decisions, and I don’t know which ones to cancel. I am tired, and I want to live a fathomable life. I want myself with an average understanding, and I want people to understand me as well. 

I have practiced the depth of understanding amongst human beings since the time I understood I can understand, but I am left stranded with misunderstanding or mostly no understanding. Who is to blame?

Sometimes I do blame myself, but sometimes I know I shouldn’t, and I don’t. I carry this very big world of chaos within me, unseen yet heavy.

Also, suddenly I remember that I may not be aware of the luggage other humans carry, and I get lost in this loop of understanding humans.

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